Manhattan Carnivore

STROKE Top NME Chart

2005-11-27T17:10:00.000-08:00

JuicyJuice tops NME Charts

Watch the videohere.
More Strokes controversy here.

Diamond Nights - The Girl's Attractive Video

2005-11-23T23:09:00.000-08:00

Diamond Night's new video for "The Girl's Attractive".

Windows Media Player High
Windows Media Player Low

More viewing options at: www.diamondnights.com

"The Hottest Record In The World Today!"

2005-11-23T14:05:00.000-08:00

I'm afraid Richard Ashcroft has now forgotten how to write songs that are even half decent. I'm actually embarrassed for him, and for Chris Martin who oh so recently called him "the best singer in the world." Maybe at one time, but now he's as gay as James Blunt. Have a listen to his new single "Break The Night With Colour", with a grand introduction from Radio 1.

Richard Ashcroft - Break The Night With Colour
Richard Ashcroft w/ Coldplay @ Live 8 - Bittersweet Symphony

Monkey Talk

2005-11-23T13:30:00.000-08:00

I'm not quite sure what I think of Arctic Monkeys, they didn't blow me away at bower, but I can't say I hate them (I know you're disappointed). Unlike CYHSY, DoP, WAS (and all those bands I hate) Arctic Monkeys are kids (not 30 year olds pretending to be kids), so they deserve a little time to make some mistakes and figure some shit out before I jump on them for sucking. When I figure out whether or not they suck, I'll be sure to let you know... in the meantime, do some reading...

Prefix Mag Arctic Monkey Interview:(link stolen from BV)
Arctic Monkeys / Prefix Mag Part 1
Arctic Monkeys / Prefix Mag Part 2

do some listening...
http://takeyourmedicinemp3.blogspot.com/2005/11/165-arctic-monkey-gorillaz-attack.html

ATT: We Are Scientists, Please Go Back To Science School

2005-11-23T10:52:00.000-08:00

Everyone always complains about girls not being honest, not saying what they mean… so I’ll be honest, maybe even blunt and say exactly what I mean… I HATE We Are Scientists. I hate them a lot. I may even hate them more than I hate DoP… and trust me, that’s a lot. Right about now you’re probably wondering… “MC, why do you hate WAS?”… its simple really… I hate them because they’re terrible, pretentious, snide, little hipster bastards and I wish I could shove their jagged little guitar lines and their 16th note hi hats down their throats until they choke on their own shitty music. God damn it! I guess they didn’t get the memo I put out to all bands… for all of you not in bands (or for those of you in bands that SOMEHOW didn’t get the memo) I will publish the memo below:

MEMO:
To: All Bands
From: Manhattan Carnivore

WE DON’T NEED ANYMORE JAGGED DANCY BANDS. PLEASE CEASE AND DESIST IMMEDIATELY, OR I WILL BE FORCED TO GET YOU DRUNK, BREAK YOUR GUITAR OVER YOUR HEAD AND DRAG YOU HOME TO YOUR PARENTS HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS AND SHOW YOU TO YOUR MOTHER AND SCREAM INTO HER WRINKLY FACE, “YOU THINK YOUR SON IS DOING SO WELL MOVING OFF TO NYC, WELL LOOK AT THIS!!! THIS IS WHAT YOUR SON HAS BECOME! A USELESS DRUNK IN A JAGGED DANCE BAND. I HOPE HE’S MAKING YOU PROUD.” THEN YOUR MOTHER WILL FEED ME A NICE HOME COOKED MEAL AND THANK ME FOR BRINGING THIS TO HER ATTENTION, ALL THE WHILE SHOWING ME EMBARRASING HIGH SCHOOL PHOTOS OF YOU AND THEN SHE WILL PAY FOR MY TRIP BACK TO NYC. SO, DO THE WORLD (AND YOURSELF) A FAVOR AND STOP!!!

Ok, so that was the memo… now back to WAS. God, they’re fucking terrible! Here’s a lyrical sample of their terribleness (yes, terribleness is a real word):

Lyrical Sample of WAS Terribleness:
The day you move
I'm probably going to explode
It's true, I'm probably going to explode
Oh oh oh oh, woah oh oh oh oh
You'll pray for proof,
I'm probably making this up
It's true, I'm probably making this up
Oh oh oh oh, woah oh oh oh oh

Because my body is your body
I won't tell anybody
If you want to use my body
Go for it, yeah

I was almost about to analyze those lyrics to explain to you how terrible they are, but then I realized that there’s really nothing to analyze and that anyone with any sense what so ever will immediately understand how terrible those lyrics are… but if there is any doubt… just go listen:
http://www.wearescientists.com/music/s_nobodymove_hi.php

WAS have successfully blended hipster jagged guitar dance punk with emo. Congradu-fucking-lations lads, this combination equals an appalling mess that can’t quite be considered music.

And who the fuck do WAS think they are having an “advice” section on their website? Kids you’ll get better advice from the guys standing outside a methadone clinic than you will from WAS, for Christ’s sake, just listen to their music..(I know its painful and I’m really not advocating listening to WAS, but just listen for a second)… see… its terrible, you can’t trust guys who make terrible music to be giving you advice.

My advice to you: DO NOT LISTEN TO WE ARE SCIENTISTS.

My advice to WAS: QUIT.

Forgotten...

2005-11-22T16:42:00.000-08:00

Tricia Romano forgot to ask me what I'm thankful for. Well, I think we all forgot to care what Tricia Romano thinks anyways...

For Now, I'm Back

2005-11-21T15:39:00.000-08:00

Please people, stop writing letters to me asking me to update my blog...its clogging my mailbox, i know that its been like a hundred years and I've missed like 10 next big things and what the fuck is up with all the posts like:

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12:26 AM

Can someone please explain this to me? Is this a joke? or just a terrible business idea? post away... i hope its bringing in tons of revenue for you kids.

As for some good news, Dr. Dog signed to Rough Trade and will be taking their hippie jam to the masses man... yeah, they're gonna like totally bring down the corporations with their sweet psychedelic harmonies man, its like a revolution vis a vis music.

breaking Dr. Dog News over at Bitchfork

And if you've been wondering what I've been up to... the answer is: n2m... jc...u? oh and also i've been spending ALOT of time looking at these dirty photos...<

Columbia's "Killers"

2005-08-19T17:37:00.000-07:00

It seems that Columbia signed Elkland ages ago, but Elkland have yet to hit their stride. Their record is alright, and their video for "Apart" is kinda cute, with Jon Pierce dancing around like a temperamental toddler, and with Columbia behind them you'd imagine they'd be pretty popular by now... but no. Even after 10 nights opening for Erasure at Irving, Elkland are still playing clubs like The Delancey, which they did last night, along with a host of god awful bands. One reason Elkland isn't successful could be because Jon Pierce believes its a good idea to wear pink pants and a half zipped sweatshirt onstage. While he may look like a toddler in their video, in person he is a hulking and massive man, who looks like he could be on the Russian Gymnastics team... teamed up with tiny guitarist Adam Kessler and tiny keyboardist Joel Tarpin, who look like brothers, its an interesting stage dynamic to say the least. Oh, and Jon's real brother Jesse drums for them. Their set last night was short, possibly too short, but people seemed to enjoy it, especially the gay guys. Even if Elkland don't ever become hit makers for Columbia, they could still become quite successful with the gay crowd.

Coldplay at the VMA / Eminem in Rehab

2005-08-18T19:49:00.000-07:00

Links:

Coldplay VMA

Eminem Rehab

Starsailor Set To Make Comeback With All Important 3rd Album

2005-08-17T17:19:00.000-07:00

Just as the Coldplay propaganda machine has reached full effect, and the backlash is starting, as reported on themodernage.org... Starsailor, one of those mellow band to emerge post Coldplay is set to make a comeback with their 3rd album, released on Oct 17th. The album is called "On The Outside" and was produced by Rob Schanpf (Beck, Vines etc), Capitols go-to guy for producing all their mainstream "indie" records.

New White Stripes Video for "My Doorbell"

2005-08-12T13:59:00.000-07:00

Watch it exclusively on AOL Music. Is it just me or is this song really, really boring? Don't be fooled by the cute little children in the video, this is not a good song, you don't have to like it to be cool.

I Like The Like

2005-08-10T10:45:00.000-07:00

I remember hearing about The Like, like way over a year ago when they were releasing eps, like on their own.. and I remember thinking hmm, they're okay... and then seeing them in Teen Vogue and thinking hmm they're okay... and then the other day i was like browsing around online, and i came across The Like's flashy new website and see holy shit, they're signed to Geffen. When did that happen? Does Geffen sign every band right out of High School from LA? If so, here's a couple of heads ups... The Like Version 2.0 and The (lil') Doors

So yes, The Like's debut comes out in September produced by Wendy Melvoin (an original member of Prince and the Revolution), and co-producer John Goodmanson (Blonde Redhead, Bikini Kill, Deathcab for Cutie). They were in town last night to do the standard early Mercury Lounge showcase, before heading out on tour with Tore Me Anus.

Catch them at Jones Beach on August 17th.

Tonight Only: FREE Crap @ the South Street Seaport

2005-08-10T10:20:00.000-07:00

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah play the South Street Seaport tonight for FREE @ 7pm.

The Secret Machines / Kings Of Leon @ Roseland

2005-08-09T12:14:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to see The Secret Machines at Roseland for their show with Kings Of Leon (and terrible opener Helio Sequence). The last time I had seen TSM was almost a year ago in a small room down on the LES, which didn’t do justice to TSM’s grand sound, its space rock after all. And yes, the sound at Roseland does usually suck, but a big “cold” room like Roseland seemed to be a good fit for TSM. TSM’s have an interesting stage dynamic with the drums and keys book ending the stage and guitarist Ben Curtis in the middle. It’s strange to have him in the center because he only sings backing vocals, but its pretty hot because he’s pretty hot with all his rock star moves and freak-out dancing. During their set I witnessed some truly horrifying moments; like a fat Guido guy vigorously dancing and mouthing the lyrics to all their songs and 15 year old prep school boys throwing their hands in the air like they didn’t care, or rather because it was the only way to relate to music that they knew, fucking little monkey idiots. Anyway, if TSM have Guido’s and prep school boys rockin’ out with their cocks out to the music, all I can say is holy shit. The worst part of TSM’s set was that it lasted like 3 centuries and by the end of it anyone who wasn’t in the midst of a testosterone rampage was exhausted.

The kids went even more ape shit for Kings Of Leon; moshing, crowd surfing, and starting clap alongs in almost every song. Unfortunately, rather than working with an audience that they had in the palm of their hands and proving themselves a great band, or at least a band on their way to greatness, KOL gave off the vibe of a band just trying to sustain the hype. It took half the set, and maybe 5 tunings of his guitar before their singer Caleb was confident enough to step out from behind his microphone and move around the stage… and the only semi energetic, crowd-rousing thing that he did all night was to awkwardly throw his microphone stand at the stage in the last song. With his pink drum set, Nathan was definitely my favorite, and he was the only King who actually was a good player. Anyone who has eyes knows KOL are really hot, and anyone who has listened to them at all knows that they have some really good songs, its just too bad that KOL play their songs like a band of tools rather than a band of musicians.

Drunk

2005-08-08T11:04:00.000-07:00

I've been drunk all weekend and am only beginning to recover now... More show news soon, but some advice.. don't go to the zoo while you're drunk or hungover.. Do Not Go to the Zoo.

We Will, We Will Fuck You

2005-08-05T10:34:00.000-07:00

When you think of Canada, you think of love making, tree hugging, awol soldier hiding people who can't pronounce words like "about"... all in all, nice folks. When you think of New York you think of.. gosh I don't even want to begin all the terrible things you think of, basically the stereo typical New Yorker ain't to cute... but they're supposed to be tough and have some balls. If this is the case, then why are New York bands so fucking gay? And why do we have to wait for a band from Montreal to come to town in order to get our rocks off?

Well thank the Rock Lord, coz he sent Priestess our way, and last night they "fucked us" at Sin-e. I should start from the beginning and explain, that singer Mikey Heppner got their set started with the following introduction, "We're Priestess from Montreal, and we're gonna Fuck You." Somehow thats a little more appealing than hearing a band go, "We're from New York and we're Soft." Somehow... just... a little more appealing... Priestess played a full on stadium rock ready set, complete with all the necessary ingredients, hit songs, drum solo, fog machine, light show... that had the crowd pumping fists in the air. And yes, they did an encore.

Go listen to them (key track is "Run Home"):
www.priestessband.com

or, for their best song "Talk To Her"
go here

Oasis, Pixies, Beck, The Killers To Play Keyspan Park In Brooklyn

2005-08-03T10:34:00.000-07:00

Oasis, Pixies, Beck, The Killers, Jet, Belle & Sebastian, Gang of Four, New York Dolls are lined up to play a new festival called "Across The Pond" in New York at both Keyspan Park and Richmond County Bank Ballpark this October 1st and 2nd.

If you have info about tickets, post it.

NME Article
XFM Article

Your Chance To Meet... Gasps THE HOTTEST BLOGGERS EVA!

2005-08-03T01:03:00.000-07:00

Oh my rockness, I'm sooo giddy right now... because tonight, August 3rd at Pianos I'll have the chance to meet "the people who make the NYC blogging world go 'round". Ultragrrrl, Miss Modern Age, Melody Nelson all in the same room, can you imagine that???

I can, I saw it happen like 2 weeks ago at Vicious Suck Fest at Southpaw, so big fucking whoop.

Soft All August...

2005-08-02T01:17:00.000-07:00

Ok, so apparently SOFT didn't get the memo: "Doing A Residency Doesn't Guarentee Your Band Success", because believe it or not, SOFT have jumped on the band wagon and booked themselves their very own residency. That's right folks, put the Viagra away, you can be soft all August at the Delancey, here are the dates...

August 4
August 11 w/ Saints & Lovers
August 25

Besides spreading ED around NYC, SOFT plan to head across the pond to get soft in the UK as well. I'm afraid the British may actually enjoy how bland this band is. They had one song that was vaguely reminiscent of what could have been a good song in the mid 90s... but they took it off their website. Go figure? I'm going to bed.

Oh, and one last thing... good news for anyone who is going to the SOFT residency... its free if you wear a "soft" tshirt...

I've got some cookies for whoever gets into a fight with the bouncer over what constitutes as a "soft" tshirt.

The Legend of Bob Dylan

2005-07-31T20:09:00.000-07:00

Hey kids, let me tell you a tale of the legend of Bob Dylan.

Ummm... Like... Do I Like Want The Fame?

2005-07-30T10:47:00.000-07:00

I'm not quite sure what to make of The Fame? Their music is best described as bubble-gum-rock, quite delicious, but the kind of music you'd expect kids just out of high school to be playing... and the guys and gal in The Fame have quite a few years and miles between where they are now and high school, and frankly, that makes me a little suspicious. Maybe that's just me being a jaded New Yorker, but with The Bravery being the last band to "make it" out of New York, I can't help but be a little suspicious of guys in their late 20's (generous age estimate) releasing a debut ep of radio ready rock, that is hip now, yet slightly ahead of the current musical trend.

Now there's nothing wrong with being old, or getting old, hell I'm getting old as I write this, but by the time a musician is in his or her late 20's, he/ or she has had alot of time to put some miles in. Chris Martin is in his late/mid 20's and his band has already released 3 albums and is playing Madison Square Garden. The Strokes are entering their mid 20's and they are about to release album number 3, and here we have The Fame releasing ep number 1 and playing Pianos. By now we all know about The Bravery's past and how deep their love for 80's dance rock goes, which leaves me wondering how deep The Fame's love for good old pop rock goes? Is Reno truly passionate about "Bedford Girls" or this just an attempt to cash in what is hot today? And if The Fame are truly passionate about the type of music that they are making, why hasn't this been a life long quest of theirs, rather than a pre-mid-life crisis quest?

Just as their biography says, "These are songs to blare from car stereos in high school parking lots across the country. Homework is thrown on the fire." The Fame write songs that would be at home on teen movie soundtracks. Picture this potential scene: it's the day after prom (the prom scene featured The Bravery's dance anthems) and the kids are driving along with the top down in their Cadillac blasting The Fame. Their debut ep, while flawed still kicks some serious rawk n roll ass, and alot more ass than their live show, which you'll have plenty of opportunities to see in September at their month long residency.

For More on The Fame:
www.iwantthefame.com (official site)

www.myspace.com/thefame

"Keep The Money, We'll Take The Fame" - New York Press (Cover Story)

Top 10 Things To Do Instead Of Seeing CYHSY Tonight/ 1Week Anniversary of Vicious Suck Fest

2005-07-27T04:10:00.000-07:00

When Audrey and Jasper got together a little over 2 years ago, they shared a common vision and goal; exposing budding local talent to the world. To commemorate the 2nd Anniversary of their joint venture “Vicious” (the monthly party they had created to realize their vision) they decided to host the first annual Suck Fest, a show where the bands were so crappy and over-rated that they would leave everyone feeling sick to their stomachs about the state of music.

To commemorate the 1 Week Anniversary of Suck Fest, I have come up with a list of “The Top 10 Things To Do Instead Of Seeing (Suck Fest Super Stars) CYHSY”.

My friends, read on…

10. Make that dreadful phone call home to “Say Hi To Your Mom”

9. Start an Erika Forster fan site. http://www.aurevoirsimone.com/

8. Go see Last Days. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0403217/

7. Apply for that job at American Apparel.

6. Go see The Plus Ones with NYC’s gayest up and comers Surefire at Southpaw (the very location where Suck Fest took place!) And no, The Plus Ones are not Johnny Kaps’ band, and yes, I was disappointed too. http://www.theplusones.com/ | http://www.surefireband.com | http://www.spsounds.com

5. Dig out your Tae-Bo videos.

4. Make dried cranberry/ peanut butter on rice cake sandwiches for all the neighbors.

3. Track down that “missed connection” from that craaaazzyyy late night out on the LES. http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/mis/87187862.html

2. Read the new Harry Potter book for like the gazillionth time.

1. Go to the Clap Your Hands Say Yeah “Crap In” outside the Mercury Lounge. Full description of the event in this craigslist post: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/muc/87194595.html

Enjoy.

Your Plans For Tonight...

2005-07-26T14:21:00.000-07:00

Tonight, The Harlem Shakes finish off their month long residency at Pianos, and I suggest that you go and bring flowers for their injured guitarist, Ian. Ian is a supper cool guitar slinging cat who apparently also rides vespas and injured himself doing so last week, right before they were slatted to perform at the first night of the two day Vicious Suck Fest. Well, The Harlem Shakes rock and shake so much that they decided to shake things up and invite their ex guitarist Dan to come shake it with them tonight so they can finish of their residency and not disappoint the masses. You can read the full story at their website: http://www.harlemshakes.com/

Also, you may want to go listen to their new demos recorded by Phantom Planet's Sam Farrar and Mixed by Britt Myers in the "Shake-Pod" at their exclusive residency website: http://www.summershakesny.com/

"A Night" is really good, the rest... eh... not so good, but they're listenable. Anyways, go see them.

Life Is Not A Rehearsal, And Blogging Is Not A Competition

2005-07-26T00:19:00.000-07:00

I would just like to make it clear that Manhattan Carnivore the blog is not trying to compete with Brooklyn Vegan the blog. The blog title is a joke, its ironic, because in case you didn't know, irony is fucking cool with the hipsters... so now you know, so you can be fucking cool too. And yes, I read the comments on my blog, but no, that does not reduce me to the level of shit that Joe from DoP holds, because THIS IS MY BLOG, I AM KING HERE, but, I am a good king, so I like to see what the commoners are saying and may try to take that into account while running my kingdom. I do not intend to post everyday if I have nothing to say, I will write when I want to write and write what I want to write, and if you want to read it, wonderful, if not, thats wonderful too... we know our buddy Joe will continue reading from work.

In other DoP news... it is reported that George was sighted in the hipster capitol of the universe working at Main Drag Music. This folks, is truely ALARMING! If you were at suck fest, you witnessed the noise that George created, and will therefore understand how alarming it is that George would work giving advice on anything music related. sheesh!

Good News For Hipsters Who Are Tired Of Bad Music

2005-07-23T17:19:00.000-07:00

The Stands make good music. This is a fact. If you saw them when they visited us a few months ago, you know this. Sure, they wear their influences plainly on their sleeves, but these boys can play and write songs that its pretty safe to say, would've been hits in the 60s. Unfortunately, these days their retro pop makes them somewhat of novelty act, and not even a plug from Noel Gallagher, or a tour with Jet was able to bring them into the mainstream consciousness, so of course a post on this blog won't do too much either, but...

They have a new album coming out called "Horse Fabulous"... yes, it is called "Horse Fabulous"... and, if you like good music, you might want to take a listen to it... not because it's cool, or revolutionary... but just because its kinda nice and your ears might enjoy it...

http://www.echo.co.uk/ecards/thestands/horsefabulous/

Dirty On Purpose Get Lamer With Every Passing Moment

2005-07-22T12:43:00.000-07:00

So I wake up this morning to find 11 comments on my little blog, and links to it up on The Modern Age and (my arch rival) Brooklyn Vegan. Holy Fuck! I’m becoming famous in blog land! Woot woot!

I know some idiot will take the above seriously and post a response to it, so let me make it clear, it is a joke, sarcasm if you will, so keep your self righteous mouths shut.

But, I digress… we must discuss Dirty On Purpose, and how by responding to Ms. Modern Age’s post “Sausagefest… On Purpose?” they have proved how lame of a band they are, and how lame the NYC music scene is becoming, or has become.

Lets recap…

Around 11pm on July 20th, Dirty On Purpose take the stage at Southpaw to play an unforgivably horrendous set.

Sometime early on July 21st, Miss Modern Age post’s a review of the show…

By 7:58am on July 21st, Joe from Dirty On Purpose has responded to this post just “to clarify”.

By 11:51am on July 21st, Dirty On Purpose’s manager has also posted a response to clarify and defend the band.

THIS IS SO LAME, because now everyone knows that you get off stage, run home to your computer to see what the blogs had to say about your show.

THIS IS SO LAME, because now everyone knows that you get all worked up over a little criticism.

Here’s a little “Rock History” lesson for DoP. Every band ever has been criticized, but the good bands don’t pay attention to it and get wrapped up in it, usually because they’re busy creating… and as artistic and creative as you guys pretend to be with you’re noise, you’re not fooling anyone. You’re not pushing the boundaries of music by getting onstage and making noise. Songs still matter to people, that’s why Dr. Dog, despite fucking things up by going on late, were the highlight of the night. They played songs, and you didn’t and, in case you didn’t know, people like songs.

Reborn a Blogger at Suck Fest

2005-07-21T13:23:00.000-07:00

Some folks are born bloggers, some are born again bloggers, and folks, I’m a born again blogger… and it all happened last night, at the second night of the Vicious 2nd Anniversary show.

Alright, so enough religious hoopla, and half assed justifications for starting a blog… the real truth is that some things need to be said about some bands, and by God, someone has to say it… and I really swear, I will stop referencing God and religion now.

So the show…

I arrived fashionably late (9-ish), hoping to catch the end of Dr. Dog’s set, only to find out that Dr. Dog hadn’t gone on yet, and refused to go on before 10pm. Okay, so WHAT THE FUCK? Since when does the OPENING BAND decide they’re not going to go on until 10pm, and push everything else back… well the answer to that is obvious, that was the first time I had ever seen or heard of such bullshit.

But fortunately, it gave me the opportunity to catch their set.

Dr. Dog opened there set with a song that grooved exactly the same as Oh bla di bla da, by this band, you may have heard of them?… The Beatles… but proceeded to get funkier, and more hippy-ish (as did their set). The best description that I can give of Dr. Dog is… picture The Thrills, but sloppier and more out of tune, with a crazy hippy guitar player who they let out of a cage for shows, and quickly stuff back into a cage at the shows end. This being said, Dr. Dog were actually quite good. They have some good songs about dreams and people belonging and other sorts of good hippy stuff, and they’re crazy hippy guitar player does a nice job evoking Neil Young.

Go listen to them: http://www.myspace.com/drdog

(listen to “Wake Up”)

Brooklyn based, Dirty On Purpose followed Dr. Dog’s hippy jam with 45 minutes of noise. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with these guys honestly? They used to have a beautiful keyboard player who everyone was content with staring at, while the four idiots, I mean boys, I mean young men, I mean quickly aging men trying to retain there youth played unforgivable noise… but somehow, these idiots thought that it would be a really good idea to kick her out of the band. HELLO GUYS! NEWS FLASH! THE ONLY REASON ANYONE EVER LET YOU ONSTAGE TO MAKE YOUR NOISE WAS BECAUSE YOU HAD A BEAUTIFUL KEYBOARDIST, BUT NOW YOU DON’T, SO: YOU JUST SUCK. Besides being noisy, they’re singer thought it was a good idea to talk about “buzz band” Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah like between, every single song… as if to say, “Look how cool we are, we know about Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah. We know you are all here to see them. We’re going to try to build indie credibility and get a lot of ‘Cool Points’ and say there name a million times.” I tallied Dirty On Purpose’s “Cool Points” at the end of there set. The tally looked like this: 0

The suck fest continued with Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah…

In case by any chance you’re not familiar with Crap Your Pants, Say Yeah… let me give you a brief background on them…
Pitchfork gave their record a 9/10.

Brief background over…

CYHSY took the stage to packed house, rumor has it that they were the reason night 2 of the Vicious 2nd Anniversary sold out, selling between 300-350 advance tickets (at press time the exact number was not able to be confirmed, representatives from Vicious did not return out phone calls).

Ok, sorry, back to the brief background, I need to draw a quote from Mr. Brian Howe of Pitchfork, this is how he closed his review.

“We have the rare chance to decide what a band sounds like of our own accord before any agency cooks up and disseminates an opinion for us. Damn, maybe this is how it's supposed to work!” – Brain Howe June 22, 2005

That being said, 300-350 Pitchfork readers stood and pretended to enjoy CYHSY, as if they had just discovered David Byrne. If you’re trying to discover David Byrne, I have some recommended listening for you:

The Best of The Talking Heads
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0002IQMKM/qid=1121933471/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/002-7260951-8985662

You might want to try starting with that.

About 60% into there set, CYHSY’s singer (who’s actual name is Alec Ounsworth) added harmonica to some of their songs, which clearly alarmed those who had come to see David Byrne and company, so at this point in the set a mass exodus occurred, with about 50 people leaving (this only set the table for the mass exodus that was to come after their set). After a few songs dabbling with harmonica, CYHSY got back to their roots, whipping out what seemed to be a version of “The Night Before Christmas” poem set to 80’s-ish music, only circa 2005. This people liked, because, honestly, who doesn’t love a little poem that reminds them of childhood. My apologies if this review sounds like Bitchfork, but I seriously would like to pose the question: Did anyone actually listen to the music that CYHSY were playing? Did anyone hear the goat noises Alec Ounsworth was making?

Additionally, I recommend that CYHSY talk to Dr. Dog and find out where they can get a cage for their tambourine player. Fuckin’ dude is crazy hyper and needs to calm down, it’s only a tambourine, and PLEASE, can you at least shake it in time with the drummer in your band?

Closing the night were local favorites Saints and Lovers, formerly known as Sons of Sound. Saints and Lovers had somehow? managed to grab the headline spot at the sold out Crap Your Pants, Say Yeah show, unfortunately, by the time they took the stage at some ungodly hour of the morning, everyone had enough crap in their pants for one night, and had gone home. It was quite sad to watch the people streaming out of the club as the Saints tried to quickly set up. By the time they went on, only 34 people were in the room (this is a fact, I counted)… so that would mean that about 90% of the people left, which sucked for Saints and Lovers, but never the less, dude can fucking sing, and sing he did.

Texas born, but Brooklyn reborn indie God, Ben Kweller was sighted outside mingling with the common folk, trying to stay current in what appeared to be a slightly desperate attempt to stay relevant.

Thank God that suck fest is over.