Manhattan Carnivore

This is a TRUTH Blog.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

ATT: We Are Scientists, Please Go Back To Science School


Everyone always complains about girls not being honest, not saying what they mean… so I’ll be honest, maybe even blunt and say exactly what I mean… I HATE We Are Scientists. I hate them a lot. I may even hate them more than I hate DoP… and trust me, that’s a lot. Right about now you’re probably wondering… “MC, why do you hate WAS?”… its simple really… I hate them because they’re terrible, pretentious, snide, little hipster bastards and I wish I could shove their jagged little guitar lines and their 16th note hi hats down their throats until they choke on their own shitty music. God damn it! I guess they didn’t get the memo I put out to all bands… for all of you not in bands (or for those of you in bands that SOMEHOW didn’t get the memo) I will publish the memo below:

MEMO:
To: All Bands
From: Manhattan Carnivore

WE DON’T NEED ANYMORE JAGGED DANCY BANDS. PLEASE CEASE AND DESIST IMMEDIATELY, OR I WILL BE FORCED TO GET YOU DRUNK, BREAK YOUR GUITAR OVER YOUR HEAD AND DRAG YOU HOME TO YOUR PARENTS HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS AND SHOW YOU TO YOUR MOTHER AND SCREAM INTO HER WRINKLY FACE, “YOU THINK YOUR SON IS DOING SO WELL MOVING OFF TO NYC, WELL LOOK AT THIS!!! THIS IS WHAT YOUR SON HAS BECOME! A USELESS DRUNK IN A JAGGED DANCE BAND. I HOPE HE’S MAKING YOU PROUD.” THEN YOUR MOTHER WILL FEED ME A NICE HOME COOKED MEAL AND THANK ME FOR BRINGING THIS TO HER ATTENTION, ALL THE WHILE SHOWING ME EMBARRASING HIGH SCHOOL PHOTOS OF YOU AND THEN SHE WILL PAY FOR MY TRIP BACK TO NYC. SO, DO THE WORLD (AND YOURSELF) A FAVOR AND STOP!!!

Ok, so that was the memo… now back to WAS. God, they’re fucking terrible! Here’s a lyrical sample of their terribleness (yes, terribleness is a real word):

Lyrical Sample of WAS Terribleness:
The day you move
I'm probably going to explode
It's true, I'm probably going to explode
Oh oh oh oh, woah oh oh oh oh
You'll pray for proof,
I'm probably making this up
It's true, I'm probably making this up
Oh oh oh oh, woah oh oh oh oh

Because my body is your body
I won't tell anybody
If you want to use my body
Go for it, yeah

I was almost about to analyze those lyrics to explain to you how terrible they are, but then I realized that there’s really nothing to analyze and that anyone with any sense what so ever will immediately understand how terrible those lyrics are… but if there is any doubt… just go listen:
http://www.wearescientists.com/music/s_nobodymove_hi.php


WAS have successfully blended hipster jagged guitar dance punk with emo. Congradu-fucking-lations lads, this combination equals an appalling mess that can’t quite be considered music.

And who the fuck do WAS think they are having an “advice” section on their website? Kids you’ll get better advice from the guys standing outside a methadone clinic than you will from WAS, for Christ’s sake, just listen to their music..(I know its painful and I’m really not advocating listening to WAS, but just listen for a second)… see… its terrible, you can’t trust guys who make terrible music to be giving you advice.

My advice to you: DO NOT LISTEN TO WE ARE SCIENTISTS.

My advice to WAS: QUIT.

15 Comments:

At 12:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with your assessment of We Are Scientists, but your caps memo wasn't funny at all. The last thing we need are more witless blog rants. Please try harder. thanks

 
At 10:23 AM, Blogger manhattancarnivore said...

dear anonymous,

i'm glad that we can agree on WAS. if you'd like to apply for a position as my editor, please submit your resume to manhattancarnivore@yahoo.com. thanks.

carnivorously,
MC

 
At 10:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like the music, but of course you're welcome to your opinion on it. You shit-talking their lyrics and website is objectively pretty absurd, though, given the way you write, which is like a seventh grader, but with less imagination. Glass houses and all that, retard.

 
At 10:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

someone hasn't heard 'safety fun & learning (in that order)'

 
At 11:23 PM, Anonymous christine said...

WAS are fucking terrible!

 
At 7:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

carnivore, you are an idiot, your blog is idiotic and you should change that gay picture. you wouldn't know good music if it punched you in the face...which is what i would do if i met you. go back to your eighth grade english class and learn how to write. quit hatin' on a band that obviously has more talent in their little pinkie toes than you do in your whole body. what happened? why do you hate them so much? did you hit on one of them and got turned down because they are not gay like you? get a life and a job!

 
At 9:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

MC, please keep writing your blog

 
At 1:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

first of all why spend so much time on a band you so obviously hate.Or maybe u just want attention and try and get your shit comedy across,except it doesnt work with you because your not intelligent so it just sounds like a walrus shouting at a boulder that 'looked at him funny'.Anyway im beginning to doubt your hatred for them now becuase why are you/why do you want to talk aboout them so much.Leave the intellectual random and deep comments and listings to WAS as they are good at them and they make you laugh.All i need now is to shoot you with your own very enlarged eyeball striahgt into your groinal area with a cannon at point blank range (oh and in case you were wondering the eye will be doused in petrol and set on fire and fill with the most potent poison known to man,i duno maybe some sort of frog from the ingrigionia desert,ive heard they work best.Also i WILL get your closest friends to watch to savour the humiliation and watch you fall to your knees whilst ur CNS paralyses from your groin outwards.And i think i mite get everyone to put a greeny in a jar weeks before the operation so u can be preserved in the pose just before you die entrapped in a hard green goo until some hyperpoeple find you in milliions of years and laugh and your stupidity as it will be WAS who find you as they have found a way to live forever,they will bring you back alive with their power (music and intelligence) and then repeat the process again.I am also considering calling you a cockend as well.Oh there we go.

 
At 1:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just want you to know that I hate you.

 
At 5:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like WAS too, but i'm convinced you can think of a better way to make that clear, instead of just calling everybody gay, which has nothing to do with the whole thing.
So please, do us all a foavor, and just stick to listenening and liking their music. Thanks.

 
At 8:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least WAS are funny, shame we can't say the same about you.

 
At 2:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are an idiot...and your parents are obviously idiots for trying to breed. do us all a favor and get your balls chopped off before you get any funny ideas to donate your sperm because we know you can't get laid yourself!

 
At 6:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

First things first: I have to disagree with you on this count.
Your justifiable reasons for hating We Are Scientists include that they are "terrible, pretentious, snide, little hipster bastards" which sure, you're entitled to that opinion, but personally I think doesn't back you up all too well. I can think of think people far worse present in today's music scene than W.A.S.
As for your comments on their advice section on the website, i'm not sure you got the joke.

 
At 3:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are a fag

 
At 9:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

important to realise that WAS may be "hipsters" (can hardly deny it!), but they certainly don't take themselves too seriously. their lyrics are quite tongue-in-cheek, as is the advice section, and it seems kind of clear you haven't noticed. no need to get so angry of course! even if WAS aren't your kind of thing, you should distinguish between whether they do music you like, and whether they do that kind of music well.

 

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