Manhattan Carnivore

This is a TRUTH Blog.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Reborn a Blogger at Suck Fest

Some folks are born bloggers, some are born again bloggers, and folks, I’m a born again blogger… and it all happened last night, at the second night of the Vicious 2nd Anniversary show.

Alright, so enough religious hoopla, and half assed justifications for starting a blog… the real truth is that some things need to be said about some bands, and by God, someone has to say it… and I really swear, I will stop referencing God and religion now.

So the show…

I arrived fashionably late (9-ish), hoping to catch the end of Dr. Dog’s set, only to find out that Dr. Dog hadn’t gone on yet, and refused to go on before 10pm. Okay, so WHAT THE FUCK? Since when does the OPENING BAND decide they’re not going to go on until 10pm, and push everything else back… well the answer to that is obvious, that was the first time I had ever seen or heard of such bullshit.

But fortunately, it gave me the opportunity to catch their set.

Dr. Dog opened there set with a song that grooved exactly the same as Oh bla di bla da, by this band, you may have heard of them?… The Beatles… but proceeded to get funkier, and more hippy-ish (as did their set). The best description that I can give of Dr. Dog is… picture The Thrills, but sloppier and more out of tune, with a crazy hippy guitar player who they let out of a cage for shows, and quickly stuff back into a cage at the shows end. This being said, Dr. Dog were actually quite good. They have some good songs about dreams and people belonging and other sorts of good hippy stuff, and they’re crazy hippy guitar player does a nice job evoking Neil Young.

Go listen to them: http://www.myspace.com/drdog

(listen to “Wake Up”)

Brooklyn based, Dirty On Purpose followed Dr. Dog’s hippy jam with 45 minutes of noise. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with these guys honestly? They used to have a beautiful keyboard player who everyone was content with staring at, while the four idiots, I mean boys, I mean young men, I mean quickly aging men trying to retain there youth played unforgivable noise… but somehow, these idiots thought that it would be a really good idea to kick her out of the band. HELLO GUYS! NEWS FLASH! THE ONLY REASON ANYONE EVER LET YOU ONSTAGE TO MAKE YOUR NOISE WAS BECAUSE YOU HAD A BEAUTIFUL KEYBOARDIST, BUT NOW YOU DON’T, SO: YOU JUST SUCK. Besides being noisy, they’re singer thought it was a good idea to talk about “buzz band” Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah like between, every single song… as if to say, “Look how cool we are, we know about Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah. We know you are all here to see them. We’re going to try to build indie credibility and get a lot of ‘Cool Points’ and say there name a million times.” I tallied Dirty On Purpose’s “Cool Points” at the end of there set. The tally looked like this: 0

The suck fest continued with Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah…

In case by any chance you’re not familiar with Crap Your Pants, Say Yeah… let me give you a brief background on them…
Pitchfork gave their record a 9/10.

Brief background over…

CYHSY took the stage to packed house, rumor has it that they were the reason night 2 of the Vicious 2nd Anniversary sold out, selling between 300-350 advance tickets (at press time the exact number was not able to be confirmed, representatives from Vicious did not return out phone calls).

Ok, sorry, back to the brief background, I need to draw a quote from Mr. Brian Howe of Pitchfork, this is how he closed his review.

“We have the rare chance to decide what a band sounds like of our own accord before any agency cooks up and disseminates an opinion for us. Damn, maybe this is how it's supposed to work!” – Brain Howe June 22, 2005

That being said, 300-350 Pitchfork readers stood and pretended to enjoy CYHSY, as if they had just discovered David Byrne. If you’re trying to discover David Byrne, I have some recommended listening for you:

The Best of The Talking Heads
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0002IQMKM/qid=1121933471/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/002-7260951-8985662

You might want to try starting with that.

About 60% into there set, CYHSY’s singer (who’s actual name is Alec Ounsworth) added harmonica to some of their songs, which clearly alarmed those who had come to see David Byrne and company, so at this point in the set a mass exodus occurred, with about 50 people leaving (this only set the table for the mass exodus that was to come after their set). After a few songs dabbling with harmonica, CYHSY got back to their roots, whipping out what seemed to be a version of “The Night Before Christmas” poem set to 80’s-ish music, only circa 2005. This people liked, because, honestly, who doesn’t love a little poem that reminds them of childhood. My apologies if this review sounds like Bitchfork, but I seriously would like to pose the question: Did anyone actually listen to the music that CYHSY were playing? Did anyone hear the goat noises Alec Ounsworth was making?

Additionally, I recommend that CYHSY talk to Dr. Dog and find out where they can get a cage for their tambourine player. Fuckin’ dude is crazy hyper and needs to calm down, it’s only a tambourine, and PLEASE, can you at least shake it in time with the drummer in your band?

Closing the night were local favorites Saints and Lovers, formerly known as Sons of Sound. Saints and Lovers had somehow? managed to grab the headline spot at the sold out Crap Your Pants, Say Yeah show, unfortunately, by the time they took the stage at some ungodly hour of the morning, everyone had enough crap in their pants for one night, and had gone home. It was quite sad to watch the people streaming out of the club as the Saints tried to quickly set up. By the time they went on, only 34 people were in the room (this is a fact, I counted)… so that would mean that about 90% of the people left, which sucked for Saints and Lovers, but never the less, dude can fucking sing, and sing he did.

Texas born, but Brooklyn reborn indie God, Ben Kweller was sighted outside mingling with the common folk, trying to stay current in what appeared to be a slightly desperate attempt to stay relevant.

Thank God that suck fest is over.

53 Comments:

At 11:00 AM, Anonymous camille said...

Ha!
Nothing like a crappy show to get your fingers to the keyboard.
Thank you for linking to the best of Talking Heads!If even one person realizes the error of their ways, you know you've done good work.

 
At 12:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

HEY! Haven't you read all the other blogs?! This was the greatest night ever! And these bands are the greatest collection of musicians ever to strike a chord. I mean someone from PItchfork liked the Clap your hands and say eh...record so the bloggers knew who to annoint the next Arcade Fire.

The lemming patrol was in full force last night.

If that is true about Dr Dog refusing to take the stage before 10pm that is a dick move. Dr Dog (the poor man's Apollo Sunshine) should have been professional and taken the stage when they were booked.

Instead they fucked Saints and Lovers. I hope (again assuming this is the truth) that the Saints and Lovers had some chioce words for them. I sure as hell would have.

 
At 10:13 PM, Anonymous wes said...

very nice! this is how i enjoy my reviews. straightforward and unpc

 
At 11:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

this article is linked from BrooklynVegan.com where the only text says 'awesome'. However go back thru the blogs and you'll find CYHSY finger-banging abound with articles, interviews, polls, and theories about if you were CYHSY what would be your favorite food. Pathetic.

 
At 4:52 AM, Blogger brooklynvegan said...

dear anonymous ("pathetic"),

If you take a closer look at the archives of brooklynvegan, you'll find links to negative reviews too (even of CYHSY).

"Awesome" refers to coming home last night tipsy to find a link in my comments to a lighter green site called "Manhattan Carnivore."

This site has a negative music review. Big deal.

-bv

 
At 6:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you paid money for a ticket.

you're a dumbass.

 
At 7:33 AM, Anonymous carla said...

it's no fun to be a scenester whore and then pretend you're better than everyone else. just a thought.

 
At 8:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brooklynvegan has already moved on. He updates several times a day, that's why he's so great.

Meanwhile, your blog still has the same boring rant.

This blog is DOA.

 
At 8:19 AM, Anonymous cat said...

this shit is funny. keep writing. let's get a hamburger sometime.

 
At 8:26 AM, Blogger r_neg said...

This blog has inspired me to write my own blog. It will be called "Shows I Didn't See, For Whatever Reason."

Here's the first few entries:

1) Annie @ Hiro::: girlfriend hates house

2) Siren Festival::: girlfriend hates crowds

3) Louis XIV::: Friend only had +1, and he took his wife.

4) Vicious 2-year::: Not cool enough to get tickets.

5) P.S.1 "Warm Up" thing::: see entries 1 and 2, above.

6) LCD Soundsystem::: Fear of cowbell!!!

Ha ha! Love me!

 
At 9:11 AM, Blogger Matt said...

Shows you didn't see? Hmm...let me supply my own reasons:

1) Annie @ Hiro: As ProductShop NYC said, teen pop is crap, and if you listen to this you're an idiot or have no taste, one of the two.

2) Siren Festival: Worst line up in the festival's short history, and the sound, after five years of putting this thing on, still sucks.

3) Louis XIV: I mean, seriously, people....

4) Vicious 2-year: Cool enough? All you had to do was go to Ticketweb when they went on sale and buy them. This doesn't take insider status, it takes a computer. And fingers, most likely.

6) LCD Soundsystem: Because they're awful? Because that Daft Punk song is the most annoying single since Right Said Fred? Because DFA is responsible for some of the worst music of the past ten years?

As for Clap Your Hands, nice to see the hipster backlash. Me, I think they're great. They sound like any number of New Zealand bands circa 1988, especially The Clean, and they have much in common with all those great early 90s indie bands most who run blogs weren't around for: Butterglory, Guv'ner, et. al. I seriously doubt they have a big commerical feature, and I seriously doubt anyone who listens to, I dunno, Kaiser Chiefs or the Bravery or Annie or Coldplay or the Rapture or Scissor Sisters or any of the crap usually covered by NYC music blogs would get it, and, hey, couldn't be more happy about that fact.

 
At 9:50 AM, Anonymous verdick said...

Funny post, but you're an idiot. Why don't you go get a punching bag or something...

 
At 12:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

nice blog. keep it going. speak the truth. expose the pose.

 
At 1:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

*Yawn*

More scenester-acting-like-she's-not-a-scenester bullshit. Go back to high school and learn how to write.

 
At 1:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Clap Your Hands is one of the WORST BANDS OUT THERE, and all these little retards are being duped by one silly little man at pitchfork. it is pathetic. Viscious is crap too. they have put on bland shows for two years, and finally after two years, one of them sells out. good for them.

this band will fail hard, as will the scene itself.

Regardless, brooklynvegan rules. his blog is the best.

 
At 1:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

if you really hated the set, why didn't you walk out with the rest of them? duh.

if you want to do brooklynvegan any justice with your reverse homage of a name, start taking some damn pictures.

 
At 3:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

long live brooklynvegan, but please put CYHSY out of their misery. they are terrible.

 
At 3:54 PM, Anonymous AKA Idiot said...

Carnivorous blogger, I applaud your effort to stick it to the poseurish poseurs that give all the Billburg bloggers a creaming in the pants! I came out in print against the bullshit bands propped up by the NYC blogga community back in March of 2004. So glad to see you are following suit! Clap your hands, Say Yeah is a horribile band name. Way to long! Rock band names longer that three words are the height of ridiculousness and trying-too-hard.

 
At 5:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

there are good bands that these bloggers have pushed in the past, seriously. Clap Your Hands is just not one of them. They suck. they arent innovative or different or special in any way. they will never be anything.

they are almost as bad as The Caesars. That band is the worst band I have ever heard.

 
At 12:39 PM, Anonymous A. Astley said...

AGREED. you are so right about everything. i admit, i wanted to see CYHSY because of all the press and that their name was so audaciously long, but i showed up, yes WAY TOO EARLY, and then the whole thing proceded to be a bore. a yawn. like if i dont have some j. daniels im going to die. thank you for being so funny. it was worth it to go just so i could read this. please write about every show every day.

 
At 7:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahah... amazing!

 
At 4:43 PM, Anonymous aka idiot said...

I just realize that my rule above about "rock band names longer that three words are the height of ridiculousness" must contain this provision: EXCEPT for The Soundtrack of Our Lives. This superb rock & roll band is the proverbial exception that confirms the rule...

 
At 1:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

umm WHATEVS dorkus maximus. Why would CYHSY try to sound like David Burn? David Burn's last album on Pitchfork got a 7.6

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/b/byrne_david/grown-backwards.shtml

while CYHSY got a 9.0 So it's pretty obvious who the better band is, David Burn is prolly stealing from them.

 
At 2:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have a dream.

that one day everyone will stop talking about this stupid band call Clap Your hands Say Yeah, and start talkign about some really good music that has grit, and stands for something, espcially in times like these where we could use the outlet, a voice for our generation.

CLHSY are terrible, so stop believeing the hype everyone. some guy at pitchfork likes them, and he shouldn't speak for the rets of you.

 
At 4:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

truly, he does not speak for the rets of us.

 
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